DC Film Society: Adam's Rib August 2020

Real Movies, Fake Sequels

In a normal summer we would be flooded with sequels. We were supposed to see sequels of Top Gun, Wonder Woman, A Quiet Place (which would have come out in the spring but I’m still including it), Ghostbusters, and the latest in the Fast and Furious franchise. That’s not even counting Black Widow, part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe but the first film focusing on this character. Of course this summer has proved anything but normal, and studios have postponed all of these films, many of them all the way to 2021.

This void left me plenty of time to ponder other sequels. I could have devoted this column to my favorites, which may have fun to write but has been done many, many times before. For the record, my picks are:

Honorable Mention: Captain America: Winter Soldier; The Color of Money; The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

10. Lethal Weapon 2
9. Thor: Ragnarok
8. Logan
7. Superman II
6. Before Sunrise
5. Aliens
4. The Dark Knight
3. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
2. The Godfather, Part II
1. The Empire Strikes Back

Most sequels do not reach the rarefied air of the films I just listed. They’re formulaic cash grabs attempting to do again what was done before. It’s more fun to focus on fake sequels: films described, advertised or even briefly shown in other films but with little to no chance of actually being made. The best of them satirize how ridiculous many sequels are. Truth be told, I prefer many of these to the real sequels:

10. Rocky 5000 (in Spaceballs: the Movie). No one can pull off a sequel parody like Mel Brooks, whom we will see again on this list. The Rocky franchise ventured into absurdity in 1985 with Rocky IV, the one where the boxer ends the Cold War. So it was more than ripe for Brooks to parody two years later. Little did we know that, if you include Creed and Creed 2, the franchise still had four more films left.

9. Pineapple Express 2 (in This is the End). Many of the Pineapple Express stars, including Seth Rogen, James Franco, Danny McBride and Craig Robinson, played themselves in This is the End. Rogen and Franco were trying to make a real sequel, but little came of it. So they gave us a brief glimpse of what might have been, including Jonah Hill’s not-quite impression of Woody Harrelson.

8. Gandhi II (in UHF). A very non-PC fake sequel that never would be made today. “Weird” Al Yankovic and his team were not poking fun at Gandhi the person or the biopic Gandhi at all. Rather they satirized 70’s Blaxploitation and 80s excessive action movies by showing how you could fit even the most ill-suited hero into those lazy formulas. Showing the legendary nonviolent political leader beating up street thugs can’t help but draw laughs, as does having the noted vegetarian ordering a “Steak, medium rare.”

7. Jaws 19 (in Back to the Future, Part II). The Back to the Future, Part II version of 2015 featured a holographic ad “attacking” Marty (Michael J. Fox), complete with a poster with the immortal tagline “This time it’s really, really personal.” Steven Spielberg, who executive produced the Back to the Future films, made the first Jaws, but left the series and was not shy about trashing the later installments. Jaws 19 may have been Spielberg’s cinematic comment on the Jaws sequels. Or perhaps it was Back to the Future series director, and Spielberg protégé, Robert Zemeckis having fun with his mentor. Thankfully the real 2015 passed without Jaws 19, although Universal performed some fan service that year with a fake trailer (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JV5WTOgVM4).

6. Amistad II (in Scary Movie). I always love a good fake-out. Conveniently enough both Amistad and Titanic came out the same year, giving perfect fodder for the Wayans brothers to target both films. This was also a clever cameo for director Keenan Ivory Wayans. Scary Movie sets up the fake trailer with a fake warning that the trailer is rated “I,” for immature audiences only. Good thing I still qualify.

5. The Graduate, Part 2 (in The Player). Robert Altman’s famous tracking shot opening The Player includes a screenwriter pitching The Graduate sequel to a disinterested studio executive. The premise of this would-be sequel is ludicrous enough on its own, with Ben (Dustin Hoffman) and Elaine (Katherine Ross) living with Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft), who suffered a stroke. Add in that the man pitching the story is Buck Henry, who co-wrote The Graduate, and the scene is twice as funny. It’s the perfect lead-in to Altman’s skewering of Hollywood.

4. History of the World, Part II (in History of the World, Part I) Mel Brooks playfully called his historical farce Part I even though he stated firmly that there would be no sequel. Of course that did not stop him from closing his film with a “preview” of Part II, including A Viking Funeral, Hitler on Ice and my personal favorite Jews in Space. Alas, none of this came to pass. In an interview Brooks said that kids sent him letters asking for Part II, but to no avail. Some on social media claim that “Jews in Space” became Spaceballs. Sure, why not?

3. Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season (in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back). It’s no surprise that Kevin Smith could bring in Matt Damon and Ben Affleck to reprise their Good Will Hunting roles, with Affleck acting like he’s in a bad 1930s film. Give Smith credit for also bringing in Hunting director Gus Van Sant. But what makes the scene is the return of Scott William Winters as Clark, the arrogant douchebag Will Hunting (Damon) tells off in the original. Winters garnered his first film credit in 1996 as the “Blow Dried Jerk” in The People vs. Larry Flint, and stuck with that character a year later in Good Will Hunting. The icing on the cake is Damon’s pep talk “Think about the paycheck,” which I’m sure many sequel actors uttered over the years.

2. The many, many Jump Street sequels (in 22 Jump Street VERY NSFW). Directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller wanted their sequel to 21 Jump Street and went full throttle to riff on the whole idea of sequels. Not one or even a few fake sequels, but 25 of them, including animated film, video game and an extremely inappropriate children’s game. For some the film shows scenes and for others just a poster, but they are all funny. You can find a list of all of them. My favorites are 27 Jump Street: Culinary School and 38 Jump Street: Dance Academy. Lord and Miller even have fun with franchises where actors come and go by having Seth Rogen replace star Jonah Hill for 29 Jump Street: Sunday School.

1. Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money in Spaceballs the Movie). As hilarious and inventive as the Jump Street sequels were, no one can top Mel Brooks in this category. It’s just one line by Yogurt (played by Brooks himself), but that line captures why most sequels are even made. According to various websites Brooks has toyed with making the sequel, but that never passed beyond the rumor stage. Brooks is 94 now and he’s earned his retirement. Besides, this is one sequel best left to the imagination.

Adam Spector
August 1, 2020